Shattered Dreams

To Leave, or Not to Leave?

That is the Question.

Am I looking for excuses not to leave or is the universe trying to send me a message?

Or maybe Murphy’s Law was created by Murphy so he would have excuses at the ready, to explain away the impediments to his goals, dreams, his aspirations…and the rest of us just looked at what he came up with and said “That’s it! That’s why I haven’t done such and such or been to see So and So! See? It’s not ME, it’s Murphy’s Law!”

Whatever the case, I am certainly experiencing a strong encounter with “road blocks” and I haven’t even gotten on the damn road yet!

Oh, there’s a list, don’t worry.

A litany of reasons, if you will.

My launch date was originally June 1st. All good.

So, I thought.

See, I had just returned from Cali with my recently purchased and super-cool Airstream; backed in and parked perfectly I might add on my carport at Metcalfe, ready to be packed.

Loaded with too much stuff I am sure I will never use.

My Airstream, shiny, elegant, the aluminum siding glistening in the evening sunlight, perched over a creek perhaps a bit too precariously, light shadows cascading down upon her (Her name is Lucy) perfectly framed for the photo I am about to take, that one photo that says “See! I did it! I bought it, it is here! Come and look all ye non-believers!” but wait, hang on, the rear window needs to be opened to balance in both form and function the front windows, what kind of RV owner would I be if didn’t understand the simple thermodynamics of airflow?

Idiot!

Well turns out, I may know a little something about thermodynamics, but I don’t know shit about fuck (thanks Ruth Langmore) on how to open the rear window of 19-foot Tommy Bahama Airstream.

That’s right. I broke it trying to open it.

How? Turns out, it’s not that easy. You have to really be one of the dull tools in the tool box to do it.

There are 2 levers. TWO. That you lift in synchronicity. Not just the first one you see.

Lift up you bastard! Move in the direction of my will!

Glass shatters in a million pieces.

Motherfucker.

I sit there staring at the empty space I just created.

Damn thermodynamics is working for sure, now!

I want to cry.

I see a flash of me beating something or someone.

Hey, I admit I’m a little fucked up.

Someone else is to blame!

Who designed this window?

Burn in hell you bastard!

But I laugh.

OK, the laugh may have been a little maniacal sounding, like that laugh a lunatic murderer makes before he saws his victim in half, but at least I wasn’t crying like a little bitch, right?

Or kicking my dog or beating a homeless person up?

I said I was a little fucked up earlier, get used to this kind of shit if you are going to follow along

So now what?

Well, the now what was that I knew I just threw $1000 (wait for it) out the window.

I also likely delayed my launch date by what, 3-5 days for repairs?

Ha!

It’s June 25th. 24 DAYS PAST LAUNCH DATE.

The window.

Now the awning.

And the lock on the door. Oh yeah, someone broke into my Jeep, and along with stealing some awesome sunglasses, stole the keys to my Airstream. Can’t make this up!

Add in the AC thermostat.

The window-shield.

The Sub-Woofer speaker cable my dog ate. (Bad dog, Jack!)

Oh yeah. And hey, guess what? You get charged a minimum 1 hour Service fee for EACH item!

Yep.

Can’t help but think there is a little pay back from karma working in there…but we’ll get to that later…

Three weeks later I get Lucy back to Metcalfe. Welcome home, girl!

Shoes off please when you enter.

Please use a face mask so you don’t sneeze on her and make her sick.

Don’t touch ANYTHING!

Thank you for stopping by.

Now. Was it me? Did I break that window because subconsciously I wasn’t ready to leave yet?

I wasn’t. I see that now. but a $1000 and three-week delay?

Or perhaps the Universe was protecting me from other forces that were mounting up against me, as there was a tropical storm I would have been right in the middle of had a ventured out when I planned to. There were also many State and National park closures due to Covid, that I was hoping to see. I may have been caught up in some of the civil unrest as I passed through major Metropolitan areas, and man would a 50-year-old white guy with a new Airstream and new Jeep be a good target for ANTIFA or what!

Whatever the case, because I stayed behind I also was able to have more time with loved ones. I was able to pack a little more thoughtfully.

I was able to make a little more money.

I was able to spend 16 days down at that coast in Port A in alternating fashion with my girlfriend and her kids, my dad, brother and cousin Matt.

I was able to plan a little more.

I was able to eat a LOT of Mexican food. Damn you Matt Martinez for the extra 15 pounds!

I was able to take stock, just a little more.

And wait.

For the Universe to give me the next sign.

For the winds of change to shift, so that I could wander between them, freely.

They say Murphy was an optimist.

I’d like to think he was just a realist.